FSM # 9: How do you react when people “offend” you?
- This topic has 21 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 3 weeks, 4 days ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Come to think about it, over all these years, I would say I have encountered more backlash, jeers, and snide remarks when I admit to liking (some of) Madonna in classical/film score music forums, than I got from the “mainstream” crowd when admitting that I like (all of) Jerry Goldsmith and Gustav Mahler. 🙂
I also rarely to never experienced any backlash from people who are not into soundtracks about my passion for mainstream Hollywood blockbuster soundtracks from the 80s and 90s. Mostly people don’t really have an opinion on that. They rather critizize my bad taste in movies.
But the most and real offense comes from actual soundtrack fans when you mention that you like something they dislike. And as I said before to Thor. People might have felt offended by my negative opinion on the one or the other score.
While this topic was more about “the outside world of normal people” vs. “the inside world of hardcore soundtrack nerds”, and what it was like two decades ago compared to today, you’re very right, Gerate — there’s a lot of apparent offending happening within the soundtrack world too.
It’s always been a big mystery to me; how someone can be personally offended by a different opinion or preference. Yes, it can sting and make you want to defend, but personally offended? Why?
It’s always been a big mystery to me; how someone can be personally offended by a different opinion or preference. Yes, it can sting and make you want to defend, but personally offended? Why?
Well, the word “fan” has “fanatic” in it for a reason, doesn’t it? I would rather place this personally being offended by let’s say younger people more in the pop music world where they identify too much with certain artists.
Of course cannot tolerate if anyone does not like Goldsmith or Williams 😉
It’s always been a big mystery to me; how someone can be personally offended by a different opinion or preference. Yes, it can sting and make you want to defend, but personally offended? Why?
I have actually given this some thought in recent weeks, because I wonder too… why is that? Why does it sometimes cut deeper than it should when someone mocks the movies or music one loves? Doesn’t really make sense, does it?
I mean, just look at the tiniest niche of niches: classical film scores. Even within our niche, we have lots of different people with lots of different tastes.
But in some ways, it does make perfect sense. If you have a deep passion and love for something, then it’s often a “part” of yourself, your identity, of who you are, and when someone ridicules the music you like, it’s a bit as if they are ridiculing yourself. The more important that particular piece of music or movie is to your identity, and the more important that other person is to you, the more it might “sting” or hurt if the person outright rejects that movie or music, because it’s as if that person rejects a part of you.
That’s why it may not matter is someone somewhere dissed your favorite movie or music, but it’s much worse when it’s a loved one close to you, or somebody you would like to be close to.
Some people are more sensitive or more “affected” by this than others. I think the key is to “reframe” the situation for yourself, because even if it feels like the other person may reject you, it may not really be a case. I like lots of people whose music taste I find atrocious. That doesn’t mean I reject them as a person. But when you tell someone “I love this film score” or “that movie scene moves me to tears” and others shrug it off as “sentimental kitsch” or hokum, then it’s as if one way of a possible connection has been lost or cut, and we generally look for these connections to other people.
I went to music school so that I could tell people when they’re wrong about music. There are a few people, smarter and better than me, who’s opinions I listen to. If you’re going to question what I like, you better bring receipts. I’ll read them, if you have a point, otherwise, the stuff people react to is too often based on feelings and familiarity over knowledge.
If you’re going to question what I like, you better bring receipts. I’ll read them, if you have a point, otherwise, the stuff people react to is too often based on feelings and familiarity over knowledge.
If what you like is based on knowledge and not on feelings I assume you are married to a very old and rich woman.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.